Aaarrgghhh!!!!

So a few weeks ago I was to complete and pass the biggest challenge in my professional career-- I was to pass my Series 7 Broker/Dealer's License exam. I mean it isn't like this exam is hard or anything! I mean I was an English major and never dreamed of setting foot into a Finance or Economics class! I had prepared for months (unlike popular beliefs by some) and after the first failed attempt I started working with this amazing person that drilled Options & Bonds into my thick skull! Bless him for taking all of this time out of his life to sit with me and try to teach me what seemed to be the impossible! Well two weeks ago yesterday I took that hour and change drive out to the city and pulled into the parking lot of the testing center. I had prepared as much as I could and even had my little study notes in my hand reviewing them so I wouldn't forget the equations that were drilled in to me!

After waiting in the hallway for the testing center to open I was escorted in to the waiting area, given a rules and regulations sheet that I needed to read, finger and palm printed and photographed. Then I was made to empty my pockets, turn off my cell phone and stuff all my personal belongings (jacket included because freezing helps the blood flow to the brain) into a tiny locker before I was taken to the "Pergatory" of this testing center so I could get finger and palm scanned again before I was allowed into the testing room. I should say that I was given earplugs this time after requesting them 3 times!

The inside of the testing area was something out of a Mental Asylum/"Boiler Room-esque" type of movie. Camera's watching you from all sides, the lady staring at you through the two-sided window and the reminder that it is to remain perfectly silent through the whole exam. I did take C's advice, I will be not naming names or places for the safety and protection of those that are involced, and wrote his little helpful letters on top of my scratch paper. These 4 little letters will probably be with me until the day I die but I wrote them on the top of each page I used on the notepad....R.T.F.Q, Read the Fricken Question!!!! For all of you who like to use other words I am sure you will be quick to substitue the meanings of some of these letters!

After 4.5 hours of 260 questions those 15 seconds before my score was displayed everything seemed to happen! My heart was jumping out of my chest so bad that I thought I was having a heartattack! My palms were sweaty and I seemed to have this uncontrollable shaking in my leg, you know the one that Diane Keaton had in "Baby Boom". I swear that people in California could feel the shaking! Then the two numbers that I dreaded came up 59%. 59% on a test that I put everything into so I could prove myself in this job! I was so disappointed in myself and how I felt I let everyone down.

Time jump to today! I had been walking around work on eggshells! Waiting for someone to tell me my fate! Someone to tell me that I am no longer part of this company. I have been waiting for 2 weeks for someone to tell me my status and I heard NOTHING! I heard all the whispering from my co-worker...if you want to whisper, you may want to learn how to do it! Otherwise it is considered talking! Genuis people these young girls can be! So fast forward again to 4 pm ...called to the conference room and I am let go. The worst part of the whole thing...my direct supervisor says NOTHING! I am terminated, handed my things and I walk out the front door!

After a long drive home and a Blue Raspberry Coolata from DD I had spoken to numerous people, made plenty of plans and am looking forward to all of the possibilities that I will be sure to blog about! My life right now is so full of possibilities and I can't wait to see what road I am going to take. But since that journey won't start until tomorrow I will continue to watch "Alice and Wonderland" and "Brothers" tonight and sleep at a later time.


And in the words of the amazing Dolly Parton:

"9 to 5, what a way to make a livin
Barely gettin by
It's all taken and no given
They just use your mind
And you never get the credit
Its enough to drive you
Crazy if you let it"